Healing in Public: Is Oversharing on Social Media a Trauma Response?

Dr Arati Bh
Jun 15
3 min read

We live in an era where vulnerability has become content. People share their breakups, therapy sessions, trauma stories, and even their grief in real time on platforms designed for likes and visibility. While authenticity is powerful, a growing question emerges in therapeutic spaces:

Is all this "healing in public" really healing — or could it sometimes be a trauma response in disguise?

Let’s explore the complex psychology behind online vulnerability and how to discern between empowered expression and unresolved wounding.

What Is “Healing in Public”?

Healing in public refers to the act of sharing one’s emotional or psychological healing journey openly on social media or other public platforms. It may include:

Sharing mental health diagnoses
Talking about childhood trauma
Posting emotional breakdowns or breakthroughs
Giving advice or affirmations while still in active distress

It can be a tool for connection — but it can also be a way of coping, avoiding, or compensating.

The Psychology Behind Oversharing

Oversharing is not always intentional or conscious. It’s often a nervous system-driven behaviour that originates in a few core psychological patterns:

1. Seeking External Validation for Internal Pain

When someone hasn’t felt seen, heard, or validated in early life, posting vulnerable content can become a way of saying:

“Do you see me now?”

The likes, comments, and engagement become temporary antidotes to long-standing emotional neglect.

2. Lack of Safe, Intimate Spaces Offline

When personal relationships feel emotionally unsafe or unavailable, social media becomes a surrogate support system.

But:

The internet cannot offer true co-regulation.
Public empathy isn’t the same as personal attunement.

3. Deregulated Boundaries from Trauma

Trauma often disrupts our sense of boundaries. People may not know what’s “too much,” “too soon,” or “too personal” because their inner boundary radar has been scrambled by past experiences.

Oversharing may be a signal of that deregulation — not attention-seeking, but safety-seeking.

4. Performative Healing as a Defense

Sometimes, "healing content" becomes a performance:

“If I can teach others or appear wise, maybe I’m okay.”

This can be a subconscious way to bypass one’s own pain or prove self-worth through usefulness.

The Risks of Oversharing as a Trauma Response

While posting may feel cathartic in the moment, there are hidden consequences when it stems from unresolved trauma:

Emotional Hangovers: Regret or shame after posting vulnerable content
Exposure without Containment: Reliving trauma without support to process it
Covert Re- traumatization: Negative or dismissive comments can deepen emotional wounds
Delayed Integration: Processing in public can interfere with internal healing

How to Tell If It’s True Expression or a Trauma Echo

Ask yourself gently:

Am I sharing this because I’ve processed it — or because I want relief from it?
Do I feel grounded before, during, and after posting — or activated and anxious?
Would I still feel okay if no one reacted to this?
Do I have a safe person offline I can share this with first?

Healing Doesn’t Have to Be Performed to Be Real

There’s a difference between authentic expression and emotional outsourcing.

You don’t need to prove your pain to make it valid.You don’t have to be public to be powerful in your healing.Sometimes, the most transformative work happens in private — with your journal, your therapist, your breath.

Tools for Reflecting Before Sharing:

Pause-Reflect-Post Rule: Pause. Reflect. Ask why you want to post. Then decide.
Somatic Check-In: Scan your body — are you calm or activated?
Create a "Holding Space" Offline: Talk to a therapist, support group, or trusted friend.
Write Before You Share: Sometimes journaling can meet the same emotional need.

If You Choose to Share, Do It From a Grounded Place

There’s nothing wrong with sharing your story. Stories heal. But the difference lies in whether you’re sharing from your scars or from your open wounds.

Let your posts be from a place of integration, not desperation.