Is it OK to Not Want Sex? Understanding Asexuality and Low Libido

Dr Arati Bh
May 16
2 min read

By SereinMind | In Association with Dr. Arati Bhatt, Counseling Psychologist

We live in a world where sex is everywhere—advertised as the ultimate sign of love, attraction, and even personal worth. So when someone feels a lack of sexual desire, they may ask themselves:“Is something wrong with me?”

Let us be clear from the start: It is absolutely OK to not want sex.Sexuality exists on a spectrum, and not everyone experiences desire in the same way—or at all.

Low Libido vs. Asexuality – What’s the Difference?

Low Libido is often situational or temporary—caused by stress, hormones, mental health issues, relationship problems, or trauma.
Asexuality is a sexual orientation, where a person experiences little to no sexual attraction toward others. It is not a disorder and doesn't need to be "fixed."

Dr. Arati Bhatt, founder of SereinMind, explains:“Asexuality and low libido both challenge societal norms. But the most important question is not ‘Why don't I want sex?’—it’s ‘Do I feel safe, respected, and aligned with who I am?’”

Common Causes of Low Libido

Mental Health: Anxiety, depression, PTSD
Relationship issues: Lack of emotional connection, unresolved conflict
Physical factors: Hormonal imbalances, chronic illness, medications
Cultural conditioning: Shame around sex, guilt from upbringing
Burnout or fatigue

The Emotional Weight of Not Wanting Sex

Many individuals feel:

Broken or ashamed
Guilty for “disappointing” their partner
Afraid of being judged, rejected, or abandoned

At SereinMind, clients often come in believing they’re “not normal.” But healing begins when we recognise that there’s no single definition of normal desire.

Understanding Asexuality

Asexual people may:

Feel little or no sexual attraction
Still form deep emotional, romantic, or intellectual relationships
Sometimes enjoy physical intimacy (but not always)

Being asexual doesn’t mean someone is cold, damaged, or incapable of love.

“Sex is just one form of connection—love and fulfilment can be found in countless other ways,” says Dr. Arati Bhatt.

How to Navigate This in a Relationship

Talk About It OpenlyUse compassionate language. “I want to understand how we both feel about intimacy” can open a safe dialogue.
Define Your Own Rules of ConnectionMany couples thrive without regular sex. Cuddling, emotional sharing, joint activities, and loyalty can be just as meaningful.
Seek Therapy if There's Conflict or ConfusionIndividual or couples counseling can help you clarify your identity, release shame, and redefine connection on your terms.

At SereinMind, Dr. Arati Bhatt helps clients navigate:

Asexual identity and self-acceptance
Low libido and performance anxiety
Relationship concerns related to mismatched desires
Body image, trauma, and cultural shame around sex

Her therapy is inclusive, affirming, and rooted in compassion.

Not wanting sex does not make you abnormal, broken, or lesser than anyone else. Whether it’s asexuality or a natural phase of low libido, your experience is valid. The most important thing is to understand yourself and communicate that truthfully—without shame.